March 30, 2008
CHAMPION—March 30, 2008
In Champion the spirit of April Fool’s Day is persistent though the new breed of jokers can hardly hold a candle to the likes of Ed Henson and some of the other old timers. The stories of marauding mules and exploding Denlow out-houses are the foundation on which much of the current humor of the area is based. At any given moment all year Champions can be found laughing until the tears roll for some silly reason. In these parts jesters commonly send others on ‘fool’s errands’ (looking for things that don’t exit) such as the mushroom hunt, and trying to get people to believe in ridiculous things like the word ‘potentiometer.’
Long time Champion, Mrs. Esther Wrinkles, says that last Monday morning’s freezing temperatures constituted the ‘Easter Squall,” and that most generally there is a real cold snap around Easter. She also remarked about the thunder in February and the resultant probability of frost in May. She has been a little under the weather herself for the past couple of weeks and all of Champion hopes she gets to feeling much better soon. Last year the first humming birds of the season were seen on Easter. The earliness of the holiday this year may make the little birds seem behind schedule. Martins are already populating some houses in the neighborhood and the jonquils and forsythia would make a foreign visitor think that Champion’s favorite color is yellow! The favorite color here is green accented with the flower of the hour!
Champion is part of the top 28% of the United States of America in awareness. It was an interesting bit of information to learn that the majority of the Nation (72%!) is unaware of the fact that over four thousand US. Service Members have died in Iraq in the past five years. Almost thirty thousand Americans are reported to have been wounded there. Of course, the true number of wounded will probably never be known. The number of Iraqi people estimated to have died in the past five years is in the hundreds of thousands…in the neighborhood of six hundred thousand people. The number of wounded in that land is inestimable. Love and Gratitude are the two words.
Champions most often apply to the U.S. Service people who do what is asked of them by their Nation. The great majority of the casualties come from small towns and rural areas in America, according to national news sources. They are Champions.
People with dirty hands are growing food already. Little spinach and lettuce plants and radishes are popping up all over the place. Peas will be out of the ground soon and certain persons are busy hunting mushrooms….and Finding them! Linda’s almanac from over at the Plant Place in Norwood says that the 1st through the 3rd would be good days to harvest crops, but not good days to plant them. The 4th will be a very good day to plant any root crops that can be planted this time of the year and the 5th will be good for any crops bearing yield above ground. Both of those days will be good for planting vine crops and setting strawberry plants. It’s nice to have Champion friends who know what they are talking about. Linda hosted a bridge game over west of Spotted Hog on Saturday night. The group joined with all the great cities in turning off the lights at 8 o’clock until 9 to help spotlight the need to save energy Worldwide. Bridge by candlelight is still a wildly exciting game though that would not be apparent to any nonparticipating observer. The players sit stock still, poker faced and, for the most part, silent while everyone plays except the dummy. The game broke up at midnight and the friends inched their way homeward through the perilous dense fog not wondering for a moment why they play. On this occasion the winner walked off with $.60 and the looser won $.50. What a deal!
Dakota and Dillon Watts from Tennessee were over helping their grandparents on the dairy farm for a few days. Their little cousins, Foster and Alyssa, are just wild about them. Everybody has a good time when they are around.
An e-mail has arrived from the Daughter of Grace in response to the proposed community mass dog killing. Her resident Curmudgeon proposes a DogGone business which carries the motto ‘Have Gun~Will Travel’ and a stipulation for a discount to customers who provide their own disposal. He is, of course, not serious but at least he is willing to put some thought to a serious problem. Meanwhile, Mrs. Graham reports that the beautiful little hound dog has found a good home. No sooner was she gone than another dog arrived. This one Mrs. Graham is calling ‘Little Joe.’ He looks like a pure breed German Shepherd and is a puppy who has tripled his weight in the short time he has been at her house. He has a beautiful black saddle and a tawny mussel—“He’s a gorgeous dog,” she says and she thinks that he will be big—“over seventy-five pounds,” she estimates, when he’s grown. He will sit for her already, “doesn’t stay long yet,” but is an intelligent dog with a great appetite. Anyone interested in adopting such a lovely pet can inquire for Mrs. Graham at Henson’s Store in Champion.
The lilac bushes are budding out. Uncle Al, the Lonesome Plowboy, would have thought to sing, “Where the mockingbird is singing in the lilac bush.” It was a source of some embarrassment to his now senior-citizen daughter that everything reminded him of a song which he would sing with the slightest provocation. Now she finds herself in the habit of annoying people in that same way. “It’s spring time in the mountains and I’m full of Mountain Dew!” Things change and sometimes they change in sweet and sentimental ways. Some others are harder to take and it is suggested that anyone who has not been by the old Ruth and Orville Hicks place for a while should be prepared for a rude and disheartening shock. Against the advice of wiser Champions, some are despondent over the ruin. With no recourse, Champions are urged to let go of those hopeless feelings, of anger and despair and to focus on the persistent beauty that exists all around. Bluebirds are home again.
Persistent things, April Fool pranks, new business ideas, and wildly exciting things of all kinds are welcome at Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717. E-mail those things or any examples of persistent beauty to Champion News. Be enchanted by the scenery from the porch at Henson’s Store in Historic Downtown Champion. It’s a fine place to enjoy whatever comes into view. Champions are always looking on the bright side!
