Champion News

CHAMPION—January 11, 2016

From the South side of Clever Creek…

Plenty of conversation.

        John Buchan said “The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope.”  Heard around the round table where, supposedly, no lies are told because they come around like Karma to get you, “I throwed that little mackey out there….peeled the line off for 300 yards…finally caught my drag…fifteen minutes later…waves moving around the line…got his head up….lips all full of hooks…trying to get him off…broke the line and had to watch him slowly move back out into the creek….”  The story went for three paragraphs, one adverbial clause after another, with comma after comma until a thought was finally completed, the gist of which was:  The biggest fish he ever caught was 26 pounds 8 ounces, but this one that got away was 39 pounds and one ounce.  Pause.  In the quiet room, the sucker asked, “If it got away, how do you know how much it weighed.”  “Well, I’m glad you asked, Wilda,” he said.  Pause.  “I read the scales as he swam off.”  This would have been bad enough, but he had told the same story the previous Wednesday, pretty much word for word, (he rehearses).  On that occasion the dupe had been the illustrious store keeper.  She knew what was coming, as did Bob Leach, who flashed his smile and nodded in encouragement, “Listen to this one.”  Amusing conspiracies and collusions aside, being snookered sometimes is just part of life.  Lessons learned the hard way stick.  Stories like this one have gone on around the same wood stove for generations.  It is a Champion kind of thing.

        Among the interesting artifacts for group inspection was a powder horn, beautifully outfitted with brass and in good working order.  Mr. Partell thought it might be an exotic African animal horn.  Speculation was that it was not buffalo because of a blonde area in the horn.  Mr. Stone happened to have an actual buffalo horn with him.  It was kind of nasty, having only recently been separated from the remains of the rest of the buffalo, and it was definitely all black.  A new regular to the bunch, General Knuckleball, stepped out to his truck to retrieve his rifle.  Jaws dropped as he slowly withdrew the piece from its sheath.  The relic brought every man back to his childhood.  Hand saws and horse rasps in adolescent hands shaped this weapon more than sixty years ago.  It has held up well with a fencing staple for a site and a history of having slain many an imaginary foe in the dense forest in the land of the Upshaws.  Champions all!

The General’s creation stands inspection by Stan and George.

        The first person asked about predictions for the coming year had such dire and cataclysmic expectations for just the next few months ahead that the inquirer abandoned the project altogether and has no plans to pursue the survey further.  The chance stranger to the table may not yet have caught on to the mode o’ day in Champion which is, “Looking on the Bright Side!”  Deward’s Granddaughter on the other end of the room sat in stunned disbelief, her eyes wide asking silently, “Is this for real?”  Certainly the world is big enough for widely divergent philosophies, but the breadth of the difference among people in such close proximity can be staggering.  Stagger on down to the wooly, wooly banks of Auld Fox Creek and see for yourself.  It is good to remember that in any given gathering there may well be people (polite people) who believe exactly the opposite things and in most cases they are indistinguishable from each other by their looks.  For your own peace of mind, be sure you are registered to vote and participate in your democracy.  It is a sure bet that “they” do.  The last day to register to vote for the 2016 Presidential Primary is February 17th.  Register with the County Clerk in the Court House.  The Primary Election will be March 15th—the Ides of March, historically a fateful day.

        Wilburn Hutchison shares his birthday with Bob Liebert of Teeter Creek fame on January 11th.  When they were boys, some while back, Wilburn and Fleming Gear saw a dirigible motor over the field they were working.  Diane Wilbanks celebrates on the 13th.  She and Jerry drive white mules and are probably taking the high road out of their place these days.  The Bryant filled their front yard.  The 13th was also the birthday of Norris Woods, who departed the scene recently and has many missing him still.  Willis Masters will have open heart surgery on his 73rd birthday the 14th.  Bert Godkin will be smiling sweetly and celebrating on the 15th.  Judy Ing called him ‘Father Bert.’  Champion grandchildren, Miley Schober and Rese Kutz, are cousins who celebrate on the 16th and 17.  Jacob Kyle Brixey is a kindergarten student at Skyline.  He celebrates on the 18th.  He has a sister and a mother in the same school with him—a lucky guy.  The 19th is the birthday of the singularly hardest working person in Champion, as well as the most pleasant and modest one.  She shares the day with the generous patron of The Champion News, J.C. Owsley, who rides a big white mule named Dot and comes to the Bright Side as often as he can.  Wishing you all a Champion Happy Birthday!

        Weather does not pay attention to the calendar so it can wreck local thoroughfares at any given time.  Those charming men who do the road work for this part of Douglas County are again to be commended for making the country lanes safe and passable so that Champions can receive visitors and can venture out, if they must.  Area residents may not deliver the cookies to the county shed that would say, “Thanks, fellers,” but they appreciate the difficulties of the job nonetheless.  These cold bright days with a good stiff breeze make the birds look fat.  It may be that ticks and chiggers are being frozen out of existence.  Seed catalogues and musical instruments help to pass the time when the cold wind blows and fortunate folks do not have to be out in the elements.  It turns out that Josef Franz Wagner (1865-1908) wrote Under the Double Eagle (“Unter dem Doppeladler”).  The double eagles were on the coat of arms of Austria-Hungry.  The 1893 march has found its way through John Phillip Sousa, Benny Goodman, Monty Python and any number of good bluegrass musicians.  Some of those musicians still play it and Listen to the Mockingbird.  “I’m dreaming now of Hallie, sweet Hallie….and the mocking bird is singing all the day” in Champion—Looking on the Bright Side!