Champion News

CHAMPION – January 21, 2008

        In Champion the full moon generally falls right in the middle of the lunation which is the interval from one new moon to the next and equals to about 29 1/2 days.

        That it happens like that all over the world is of no real concern to the Lunatic Fringe in Champion which seems to be concerning itself primarily with birthdays during this time.  Some remark was made about the speed with which the full moons come around these days, this one is known as the “Wolf Moon, ” and the speed with which the years pass according to how many one has experienced.

        To the matter of Birthdays: Kyle Barker has had his first one!  Celebrating with him were his parents Tom and Deborah Barker, Skeez and Inez Parker, Gene and Nancy Barker, Robert and Sharon Upshaw, Loretta Upshaw, Elva Upshaw, Michael and Melaine Upshaw and their two children, Elva Gayman, Richard and Kaye Johnston, Carrie and Mike Stewart, Tanna, Foster and Kalyssa Wiseman, Russell and Sue Upshaw, Kenneth and Juanita Anderson and Dean Upshaw.  There was lots of visiting and games and presents.  Robert Upshaw made homemade ice cream and the family and friends that were not able to attend are sorry to have missed such a splendid party.

        More Upshaw birthday business has to do with the New Years Eve birthday of Rear Admiral Robert Upshaw!  Little wonder he was in no condition to attend the New Years Day Parade of Champions!  One of his sisters leaked that information so Champions will be ready for him next year and perhaps if they are unable to dissuade him from such raucous celebrating, they can at least join him.  There is an old guy who comes into Henson’s Store almost every day who is woefully uniformed about Champion birthdays, particularly the Upshaw birthdays.  As it turns out one of Champion’s all time favorite mailmen, Cletis Upshaw and his cousin Russell Upshaw, who attended the Kyle Barker party, were both born in 1929.  Anyone who doesn’t believe that can call Cletis or Russell for confirmation.  They, at least, know how old they are.  This fellow seems to think that he is younger than most of the people in Champion which is just completely erroneous.  He is much older than Faye (Upshaw) Krider, Kaye (Upshaw) Johnston, Carol Cleveland, Wilda Moses and Betty Thomas and certainly much older than the proprietor of Henson’s Store who shares her birthday of January 19^th with such notables as Paul Cezanne, (1839), Edgar Allan Poe (1809), Robert E. Lee (1807), Dolly Parton (1946) and Janis Joplin (1943).  This old fellow will be eligible for the Old Age Pension by the middle of the summer.  Champions already keep their eyes out in case he is on the roads.  In addition to being old, he has a heavy foot they say.

        Another Champion just invested in a GPS system.  Trying to get to Champion the other day, he wound up a couple of miles north in somebody’s driveway.  The thing said, “You have reached your destination.”  It turns out that he hadn’t reached it after all.  It is a lucky thing for him that he is familiar with the area.

         The cold weather of January is hard on the little wild critters.  Wild birds can use some bird seed in feeders on these brutal days and places where there is open unfrozen water is a real resource for them  The bobcats that had their haunts and holes and dens over on Orville’s place will have to relocate if they haven’t already.  The bats and deer and coons and turkeys will all have to find some place else to live.  Neighbors welcome them.  Even when the temperatures are colder it is easier to have a light heart on a sunny day.  Champions know that and are keeping the spirit of fun afloat no mater what the weather.  They are sure that US Service people in dangerous places all over the world have more of a challenge in keeping positive attitudes when they are far away from home and family.  Love and Gratitude is what they have coming from the Nation that asks so much of them.

        An e-mail came from the President of the Ladies Auxiliary of the Skyline Area Volunteer Fire Department.  “The guys got our gun,” she says.  “It is again a Mossberg 535 ATS with full turkey choke and fiber optic sites.  It has a 3 ½ inch chamber.  It comes with a cleaning kit and a shell carrier.”  For the past couple of years the Ladies of the Auxiliary have staged a Shoot-Out to bring attention to the gun that they include in part of their annual chili supper fund raiser.  The first year the theme for the shootout was “Blast It If It Doesn’t Work!”  On that occasion they got together and blasted a bunch of old toasters, crock pots and coffee pots.  The next year they awarded prizes for marksmanship and sportsmanship that included the “Whole Shootin Match” Award.  The amount of expended brass was phenomenal and some of the ladies made some good progress toward becoming better shots.  Some of them are ‘dead-eyes’ already and don’t need much practice.  Informal shootouts will be taking place all over the area as the weather warms up and the Ladies vie for prizes to be awarded at the March First Chili Supper.  More musicians are being booked and detailed plans are being made about the food.  Auxiliary members will be making homemade pies to go along with the hot supper.  This annual event is a high point for the area, coming during the cold part of the year when ‘cabin fever’ can be a real issue.  The Skyline Volunteer Fire Department covers an area of approximately 125 square miles.  In spite of some muddy places, the weather has been dry enough that a real fire hazard exists.  As Champions haul ashes out of their stoves they are careful to dispose of them carefully.  The wind has been known to whip up suddenly and brush and grass fires are not at all unheard of this time of the year.

        Birthday Greetings may be channeled through Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.  Reports of the antics of the Lunatic Fringe can be e-mailed to Champion News.  Fight the fever down at Henson’s Store where there is a chance to view pictures of the original quilt, “The Bachelor Meets the Old Maid,” and where there will be more information about The Gun.  Champions are well armed overall, which is part of the reason they are always Looking on the Bright Side!